These Chronic Kidney Disease Tailored Jokes May Actually Extend A Patient's Life



A viewer wrote, "I miss the jokes that were tailored for the Chronic Kidney Disease and Dialysis patients. They really made my day and helped lighten the load of Dialysis. I always share them with others in my unit. Can you tell some new jokes?"
Many with Chronic Kidney Disease, Dialysis, Diabetes, and High Blood Pressure find it hard to enjoy a laugh because of the seriousness of their situation. While it may not seem important, research has concluded that laughter is in fact linked to longevity. Radio Host, Dennis Prager, cited a study on his morning show suggesting that "laughter may be able to extend your lifespan another eight years." In short, laughter has a number of physical, mental and emotional health benefits which include making your blood vessels more elastic and resilient (helping to prevent blood clots and strokes), reducing stress, improving heart health (leading cause of death in Chronic Kidney Disease and Dialysis patients), and combating depression. Hence, as long as you do not laugh yourself into hysteria - laughter is a good thing for Chronic Kidney Disease and Dialysis patients. Here are some jokes for the Chronic Kidney Disease Community. These jokes are meant to make you laugh so be forewarned - to avoid "hysteria:" 








1. For Halloween, a Dialysis patient showed up wearing a hospital robe and a Devil's mask. Another patient asked, "What does that costume represent?" He replied, "The patient from hell." His Dialysis colleague then interrupted and noted, "I thought you were supposed to dress as something you are not."






2. A Patient Care Technician asked the Dialysis patient's daughter and grandson what they got him for Christmas. The daughter said gleefully, "We got him a new car!" The grandson added, "I wish I had Chronic Kidney Disease..."






3. A visiting Nephrologist's medical notes about a Dialysis patient read as follows:
A. Patient has two teenage children, but no other signs of severe stress.
B. The patient has been depressed ever since seeing me.
C. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
D. She is numb from the toes down.
E. Occasional, consistent headaches. 






4. Dialysis patients were chatting at Dialysis. One asked the other, "When you die and your friends and family are looking at you in the casket, what do you hope they will say about you?" He quipped, "I would like them to say, 'He's moving!'"






5. QUESTION: How can Patient Care Technicians stand to work in busy Dialysis clinics? 
ANSWER: They have a lot of patients. 








6. QUESTION: What is the difference between God and an arrogant doctor? 
ANSWER: God does not play doctor.






7. QUESTION: What do you call a Dialysis patient studying his own chest X-ray?
ANSWER: A blind study.

mean nurse.jpg





8. QUESTION: Why did the Dialysis patient take an instant dislike to the difficult nurse?
ANSWER: It saved time.





9. The doctor told the patient, "I have two pieces of bad news for you. First is that you have Chronic Kidney Disease, and the second is that you may have Alzheimer's. The patient replied, "At least I do not have Chronic Kidney Disease."

These lighthearted jokes should give you a chuckle. Don't keep them to yourself! Feel free to share them with family, friends, and others in your Dialysis Unit. One good joke could do wonders to improve a person's day. Also, let us know what you thought about these jokes by leaving a comment on the Facebook Fan page. If you have another joke, share it with the over 32,000 Facebook Friends, and follow the other 115,000+ monthly viewers that visit regularly for more Jokes, Daily Impact Meals, News, and Information which teaches those with Chronic Kidney Disease, Dialysis, Diabetes and High Blood Pressure how to better manage and improve their lives.

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