Jokes that Will Make Chronic Kidney Disease Patients Laugh: Laughter is Good for Your Health

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Illness causes worry and stress in Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD) patients. Dealing with changes to your body from surgery, infection, blood pressure fluctuations, and more may cause you to have negative emotions that can lead to an unhealthy mental state. This will likely affect your dialysis treatment. A study by The International Journal of Psychiatry in Medicine confirmed that people with severe diseases, such as CKD, have better survival chances if they have a sense of humor and can laugh easily.
While it is sometimes difficult to believe, you do have a choice in how you feel. This choice provides you with some amount of control over your situation. Laughter is an inexpensive medicine that is often under used. How many times have you heard, "Laughter is the best medicine?" But how frequently do you take the time out of your busy day to have a good laugh or lighthearted moment? When you laugh, you are displaying a full range of positive emotions including love, hope, faith, will to live, festivity, purpose, and determination. The following are a few jokes that are sure to make you laugh:

Joke #1 - Two old men were arguing the merits of their doctors. The first one said, "I don't trust your fancy doctor. He treated old Jake Waxman for a kidney ailment for nearly a year, and then Jake died of a liver ailment." "So what makes you think your doctor is any better?" asked his friend. "Because when my doctor treats you for a kidney ailment, you can be sure you'll die of a kidney ailment."

Recommended Reading: A Fulfilling Life is Still Achievable with Chronic Kidney Disease

Joke #2 - I just went on a very strict renal friendly diet. There are only three things you can’t put in your mouth- a fork, knife and spoon.

Joke #3 - A doctor apologized for keeping an elderly woman waiting so long in his office. "That’s all right," she said. "I just thought you’d like to treat my kidney failure while it was in its early stages!"

Joke #4 - Two men were talking about their problems while waiting to see the nephrologist. One said to the other, "Just when we learn to take things with a grain of salt, the doctor puts us on a salt-free diet!"

Recommended Reading: What Can Cravings of Sugar and Salt Tell About the CKD Personality

Joke #5 - A man enters the Doctor's office and walks up to the receptionist, who inquires, "May I help you?"  "Yes", he answered, "I have shingles."  The receptionist replied, "Just take a seat, someone will be with you in a minute."  After sitting for nearly a half hour, a nurse emerged and told the man, "Come with me."  She escorted him to a room, and one again asked why he was there.  "I have shingles" he replied. 
Her reply was, "The doctor only has 3 more patient before he will be in to talk with you"  The nurse left and the physician came in after about another half hour.
He too asked, "What brings you here today?"  Frustrated, the man answered, "I have shingles."  Of course, the doctor probed further and inquired, "Where are the shingles?"
The man almost yelled,  "They are in the back of my truck.  Do you want me to start on the roofing now or are you going to make me wait some more?"

It can take a huge effort to feel happy and grateful when you believe your circumstances warrant the exact opposite.  However, laughter and a sense of humor can help relieve some of your stress and add lightheartedness to even the most challenging of times. Thus to master the art of laughing start with a smile because a smile is the beginning of a laugh, and it is contagious so it will uplift your mood as well as the mood of those around you.  

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De Palma, John R., MD. "Laughter of Medicine."  

"Renal Support Network." Jokes about Kidney Disease

 "Kidneys and Livers." : A Funny Clean Joke from Basic Jokes.