Chronic Kidney Disease And Dialysis Jokes For Stress Relief



Kidney Failure is a serious condition. It can cause severe hardships in your daily life. One way to deal with the problems you face is with humor. Below are a few jokes to help you get through your day.

Recommended Reading: Jokes that Will Make Chronic Kidney Disease Patients Laugh: Laughter is Good for Your Health

1. The Dialysis patient asked the Dialysis Clinic Manager if she heard the rumor about the "bad" germ that was going around? She said, "No tell me about it." He said, "Nevermind, I don't want to start spreading it all over again."

2. A Patient Care Technician was mopping up a spill from the floor, and the Dialysis patient shouted a question at him, "Hey Mark, how can you tell that the mop bucket is not well?" Mark reluctantly responded, "How?" The patient replied, "It is a little bit pale."

3.  The Dialysis patient told the doctor, "I feel like an old clock when I get angry. " The doctor said, "Please explain." The patient noted, "You see doctor, after I get wound up, I become run down."

4. The nurse asked the old Drill Seargent conducting Dialysis, "Why do you think you have headaches so often?" He responded with a quizzical expression, "I don't know...I guess by yelling 'Tension!' all those years?"

5. The old patient went to the Nephrologist for a follow-up and to receive his test results to see if he is in Kidney Failure. The doctor said, "I have bad news. You are in Kidney Failure, and you also seem to have Alzheimer's." The old guy interrupted the doctor and said, "Well, at least I don't have Kidney Failure."

6. Two Dialysis patients were chatting in the waiting area of the Dialysis Clinic. One patient said to the other, "My Kidney Failure was caused by Diabetes. What caused yours?" The other patient replied, "Mine was caused by High Blood Pressure which I got from my wife's side of the family." The initiator of the conversation said, "That's impossible! You cannot get High Blood Pressure from your wife's family!" He replied, "You have not met my wife's side of the family."

Recommended Reading: Tailored Jokes For The Chronic Kidney Disease Community

Dealing with Kidney Failure or Chronic Kidney Disease impacts the whole family. Remembering to laugh by deliberately interjecting humor into your daily lives is absolutely essential to relieve stress and gain other health benefits for both the patient and loved ones. So continue laughing! Do you know any more Chronic Kidney Disease related jokes? If so, please leave a comment on the Facebook Page (click here) or send an email to

Recommended Reading: New Must Read Jokes: Improving The Quality Of Life While Battling Chronic Kidney Disease

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