Jokes for the Chronic Kidney Disease Community

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How you actually feel may not be up to you as a Chronic Kidney Disease Patient, but how you react to how you may be feeling is your choice. Laughter can relieve some of the stress and heavy-heartedness that sometimes come with this condition. Here are a few jokes to help lighten the moment.

Recommended Reading: Jokes that Will Make Chronic Kidney Disease Patients Laugh: Laughter is Good for Your Health


  1. How did the dialysis patient call the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was "a head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup".
  2. I am afraid of two things: the police and my dialysis nurse. Both of them can hurt me and make it look like it was an my fault.
  3. My Nephrologist suggested that I need plastic surgery so I went home and cut up my credit card.
  4. A dialysis patient sent a note to the clinic manager and it said "Treat me like a joke and I would quit so fast it isn't funny."
  5. What part of your body is the most musical? Your nose. Why? Because you can pick it and blow it.

Recommended Reading: Chronic Kidney Disease Patients can Prevent Burnout and Regain Peak Performance

Hopefully you had a chance to laugh and relax for a few moments. Although there are many things in your life that require your serious attention, you can still buy out a moment or two for a laugh, if only for the sake of your mental health.

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